Kindness

[Steven D'Aprano]

On Sat, 14 Jul 2018 00:45:00 +0300, Marko Rauhamaa wrote:

> Chris Angelico <rosuav at gmail.com>:
> 
>> On Sat, Jul 14, 2018 at 7:16 AM, Bart <bc at freeuk.com> wrote:
>>> This group is openly hostile and unwelcoming.
>>
>> Have you noticed how a lot of the hostility seems to happen shortly
>> after you make your posts about how Python sucks compared to your
>> nameless and unpublished language?
> 
> That's no excuse for hostility.

Isn't it? 

1. How much rude and obnoxious behaviour from somebody are we supposed to 
accept before responding with hostility?

2. To what degree should groups be permitted to enforce group norms 
through social disapproval and hostility?

3. Is shunning and "the silent treatment" really a better (kinder?) 
response to bad behaviour than anger?

These are serious questions, not rhetorical ones. 

In interpersonal and societal relationships, shunning is one of the 
cruelest and most toxic ways to deal with conflict short of physical 
abuse, but we've made it the norm on the internet. If somebody says 
something you don't like, block them, ignore them silently, don't respond 
to their messages, even hell-ban them on web forums.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_banning



-- 
Steven D'Aprano
"Ever since I learned about confirmation bias, I've been seeing
it everywhere." -- Jon Ronson