When someone from Britain speaks, Americans hear a "British accent"...

[Steven D'Aprano]

On Tue, 28 Jun 2005 11:27:40 -0700, muldoon wrote:

> Americans consider having a "British accent" a sign of sophistication
> and high intelligence. Many companies hire salespersons from Britain to
> represent their products,etc. Question: When the British hear an
> "American accent," does it sound unsophisticated and dumb?

Which American accent? 

Texan? Georgian cracker or Maine fisherman? New York taxi driver? Bill
Clinton or Jesse Jackson or George W Bush? California Valley girl,
Arkansas redneck or boyz from th' hood? Paris Hilton or Queen Latifah?

> Be blunt. We Americans need to know. Should we try to change the way we
> speak? Are there certain words that sound particularly goofy? Please
> help us with your advice on this awkward matter.

Speaking as an Australia, the typical "film voice" (eg Harrison
Ford, Tom Cruise, etc) doesn't sound unsophisticated. In fact, when we
hear it, it doesn't sound like an accent at all, such is the influence of
Hollywood. (Which is linguistically impossible, of course, since *every*
way of speaking is by definition an accent.) The Hollywood voice is a
mixture of West Coast and very light mid-Western.

But as for the rest of you, yes, you sound -- strange. It depends on the
specific regional accent. At best, just different. At worst, dumber than a
box of hammers. Which is of course unfair: there is no connection between
accent and intelligence. But by gum, some accents just sound dumber than
others. My fiancee, from Ireland, has worked and lived in the USA for half
her life, and to her you all sound like Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.

Lest anyone gets offended, I should point out that every English-speaking
country have accents which are considered by others to mark the speaker as
a thick yokel. In Ireland, they look down on Kerrymen. In England, even
Yorkshiremen look down on Summerset, Devon and Dorset accents. And there
is nothing as thick-sounding as a broad Ocker Aussie accent.

But don't worry, there is one thing we all agree on throughout the
English-speaking world: you Americans don't speak English.

There are a few things that you can do to help:

Herb starts with H, not E. It isn't "ouse" or "ospital" or "istory". It
isn't "erb" either. You just sound like tossers when you try to pronounce
herb in the original French. And the same with homage.

Taking of herbs, there is no BAY in basil. And oregano sounds like Ray
Romano, not oh-reg-ano.

And please, fillet of fish only has a silent T if you are speaking French.

Aluminium is al-u-min-ium, not alum-i-num.

Scientists work in a la-bor-atory, not a lab-rat-ory, even if they have
lab rats in the laboratory.

Fans of the X-Men movies and comics will remember Professor Charles
Xavier. Unless you are Spanish (Kh-avier), the X sounds like a Z: Zaviour.
But never never never Xecks-Aviour or Eggs-Savior.

Nuclear. Say no more.


-- 
Steven.