looking for a linguistical/semiotic quote

[rusi]

I am looking for a quote 
(from Whorf/Sapir/Wittgenstein/Humboldt dunno... that 'school')

It goes something like this:

What characterizes a language is not what we can say in it but what we must -- like it or not -- say.


A demo of this is D Hofstadter's 
http://www.cs.virginia.edu/~evans/cs655/readings/purity.html
which by inverting sexist/racist assumptions in English, makes for a hilarious read.

No I am not talking politics here, just want some references for a programming course in which I want to point out that

- C programmers need to talk memory-mgmt whether they want to or not
- Java programmers need to talk objects/classes likewise
etc

I believe I may have seen that quote here so asking...