Xah's Edu Corner: What Languages to Hate

[Xah Lee]

What Languages to Hate

Xah Lee, 20020718

Dear lisp comrades and other concerned parties,

First, all languages have equal rights. Do not belittle other languages
just because YOUR favorite language is a bit better in this aspect or
that. Different people have different ideas and manners of perception.
Ideas compete and thrive in all unexpected fashions. Societies improve,
inventions progress. Lisp may be a first in this or that, or faster or
flexibler, or higher level than other languages old and new, but then
there are other languages the like of Mathematica & Haskell & Dylan et
al which ridicule lisps in the same way lisp ridicule other languages.

Just because YOU are used to more functional programing or love lots of
parenthesis doesn't mean they are the only and best concepts. The
so-called Object Oriented programing of Java fame, or the visual
programing of Visual Basic fame, or the logic programing of Prolog
fame, or the format-stable syntax of Python fame, or the “one line of
Mathematica equals ten to one thousand lines of lisp” of _A New Kind
Of Science_ fame... all are parts of healthy competing concepts,
paradigms, or directions of growth.

The way some of you deride other languages is like sneering
heterogeneousness. If unchecked, soon you'll only have your sister to
marry to. Cute, but you do not want incest to become the only sex. Next
time your superiority complex makes you sneer at non-lisp or other
non-popular languages, remember this. It is diversity of ideas, that
drives the welfare of progress.

Now, there is one judgmental criterion, that if a language or computer
technology fits it, then we not only should castigate at their
missionaries, but persecute and harass the language to the harshest
death. That is: utter sloppiness, irresponsibility, and lies. These
things are often borne out of some student's homework or moron's
dirty-work, harbored by “free” and wanton lies and personal fame,
amassed thru ignorance.

Of my short but diligent industrial unix computing experience since
1998, i have identified the following targets:

    * C (and consequences like csh, C++)
    * vi
    * Perl
    * MySQL
    * unix, unixism, and things grown out of unix. (languages,
protocols, philosophies, expectations, movements)

In our software industry, i like to define criminals as those who cause
inordinate harm to society, not necessarily directly. Of the above
things, some of their authors are not such criminals or are forgivable.
While others, are hypocritical fantastic liers selfish to the core.
When dealing with these self-promoting jolly lying humble humorous
priests and their insidious superficially-harmless speeches, there
should be no benefit of doubt. Tell them directly to stop their vicious
lies. Do a face-off.

As to their brain-washed followers for example the not-yet-hard-core
unix, C, or Perl coders rampant in industry, try to snap them out of
it. This you do by loudly snapping fingers in front of their face,
making it sound like a ear piercing bang. Explain to them the utter
stupidity of the things they are using, and the harm to their brain.
IMPORTANT: _teach_, not _debate_ or _discuss_ or falling back into your
philosophical deliberating indecisiveness. I've seen enough criticisms
among learned programers or academics on these, so i know you know what
i'm talking about. When you see a unixer brainwashed beyond saving,
kick him out of the door. He has became a zombie who cannot be helped.

There are other languages or technology, by itself technically are
perhaps mediocre but at least is not a egregious irresponsible hack,
therefore does not deserve scorn, but sometimes it comes with
overwhelming popular outrageous lies (euphemized as hype). Java is a
example. For this reason, it is equally deserving the harshest
treatment. Any loud proponents of such should be immediately slapped in
the mouth and kicked in the ass in no ambiguous ways.

Summary: all languages have equal rights. However, those utterly SLOPPY
and IRRESPONSIBLE HACKS with promoter's LIES should be severely
punished. It is these, that cause computing industry inordinate harm.
Meanwhile, it is wrong to haughtily criticize other languages just
because they are not your cup of tea. Now, please remember this and go
do society good.
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